Passionate Anger

The following is an email exchange when ‘Kate’ responded to a recent article I wrote describing my personal financial failure. I have changed the name and certain small details for obvious reasons. All emails took place the same day. More is revealed as you keep reading. Spelling and punctuation are retained in tact. I was already having a horrible email morning when this arrived in my inbox.

Sent: 10:03 AM

Subject: Remove me from your god damn list

TAKE YOUR "$25 million loss" AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR A$$!!! I've never even had $10,000 at one time. I was born with nothing and never was even granted inheritance when family members with money died (every one in my family are selfish shitslaves) so why the fuack should I give ANYTHING to you aside from grief? Go float off a metaphysical pier!

Kate

10:43 AM same day

Dear Kate,

Thank you thank you for your wonderful email! In a nightmare morning your email got me over the top laughing hysterically till I coughed and sputtered! You probably hope I choked, but I rallied and am fine.

I have nothing to defend or prove. In the midst of my crazy destruction after 17 yrs of working 18 hour days, I found how to be truly happy no matter what is going on. You have essentially reminded me of that in my face! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My server had a problem this morning and 1400 emails have gone very haywire, multiplied over and over. No matter, it is just a part of the experience of living.

I truly do thank you and wish you well.

In grace and gratitude.

Dolly Mae

Sent: 1:47 PM same day

Subject: Re: Remove me from your god damn list

LOL.... Thank you for handling my scorpio (sting*sting*sting*sting) flair up with so much grace! You're obviously highly motivated and have a great spirit so for that I commend you. Life is just way frustrating for me right now. Thank you for handling me better than I think any one probably has in a very long time. Bless you. I'm sorry I was such a jerk. So cool you travel so much. Hopefully if I pick up my attitude and work with more sincerity I can do the same too some day. After all amid my financial adversity (I really am in a state of near-poverty and would be totally homeless if it wasn't for my boyfriend) I do work as a razzafraggin' clown.

Kate

Kate, I have blessed you all day,... I am truly delighted to hear back from you. All that passion!!! Verve!!! You must love life to express that way! Truly I was not offended as much as you popped my frustration bubble!

My server got stung and my 1400 clients got zapped with hundreds and hundreds of spam emails. I've been fielding calls and emails all morning.. But yours will always stand out and my most beloved! I saved it in my file called "Letters of Appreciation"... truly.

I do understand all that fear you are going through. I remember walking through a grocery store parking lot with my husband and being struck by the awareness we had no money for food and could starve. He stood facing me, grabbed my shoulders and said "We will always have enough money for food." He got thru/past my fears. Fear doesn't relate to how many zeros are on the sum of your loss: $25 or $25 thousand. Same fear.

You will get past this. See/feel/know.. but mostly FEEL what it's like to be safe, then feel abundant. It is the power in the feeling that will shift your world the most. Because right now you are feeling fear and it is creating more fear.

I truly honor your journey. Mine included real suicidal planning. My world is very different now. Yours will be too. Choose, choose, choose joy over and over. Start with feeling grateful for something, anything. Then something else, and then more. Your emails say you are strong, vibrant and full of life. You have someone who is there... you have already manifested well. Keep building on it.

Blessings and love to you on your journey.

In Grace and Gratitude,

Dolly

Ps.

I forgot to tell you, I'm a Scorpio too!!!

love and light,

d

fr Kate 2:28 pm

*crying right now* Thank you :)

You are soooo sweet! It's all these energies right now.

p.s. so do you want to stay on my email list now????

Laughter and tears... aren't they just the best!

Love and light,

Dolly

ps. I'm crying too... because our connection reminds me we are all one.

Thank YOU!

Awww!! Sure, I'll stay on your list.. I was going to say that I will anyway. :)

Shanti,

Kate

Isn’t this the way it’s supposed to be???

Most assuredly, it is.

Using Failure

I recommend failure highly. It is something most of us will achieve in our lives. It’s like a huge makeover of years of accumulated ideas, beliefs, things, relationships and fears. And we all love makeovers.

I failed spectacularly in this life. In some countries bankruptcy means complete loss of respect and reputation. You are shunned. But in the experience, I learned so much.

Failure is only a stepping stone. Failure only happens when you stop trying and believe that you are beaten. Failure is the foundation to your next step. It lets you sweep away the old and begin fresh again.

If you don’t already know about my personal failure, suffice it to say the now infamous Fanny Mae, the quasi-federal lender, issued a policy change around 1985 to stop lending to anyone owning more than five rental properties. I owned 650. I needed 40 more Fanny Mae loans. My life abruptly changed, ending in a $25 million dollar bankruptcy. I lost everything; owed the IRS $300,000.00; lost my home, my business, my income, my properties and my marriage.

Even in the midst of the ensuing chaos, hope dawned. Failure became the uncompromising foundation, hard and firm, to begin again. The question before me was “Do you want to repeat what you’ve already done?” I did not. I’d already done that business to death. I moved into and then fully chose a completely different path, one I never knew even existed. The gut wrenching loss allowed for that new opportunity. All the old had been swept away and I had a clean start.

Passing through that dark place of suicidal intentions, I moved on. Self worth destroyed; future in doubt in every way, survival was necessary once I chose life.

Now a clean slate can be a scary thing. I decided that I could either be scared or excited. Scared wouldn’t help and both feelings are like butterflies in the stomach. I chose to be excited. Remember when you were in school and couldn’t wait to be graduated? Everything was possible. The world was your oyster. You just needed to be set free to conquer it. It was exciting. You were filled with anticipation of the first job, being out in the real world and making your mark. Life after failure was the same thing. I knew I could either embrace that wondrous excitement or hang on to the fear of what I’d lost.

Many times one cannot see the possibilities, the reasons, the clean slate of opportunities when the muck and mire of failure and loss seems to drown you. My shift came through curiosity. I have always loved learning and researching; teasing out the solution to a puzzle; and I was certainly in the biggest puzzle of my life. I chose to read a book unrelated to my business. I was curious. I wanted to escape. That book piqued my interest to begin a quest to understand myself, the universe and those big questions about the meaning of life and my part in it.

I read voraciously, 450 books in one year even in the midst of the bankruptcy issues. I couldn’t stop. I was enthralled, fascinated. Half way through all that learning, I saw an ad for a lecture on one of the topics in those books and went. Finally I’d found real food for the soul. I was hooked. The financial crisis began to fall into a perspective and became more of a background to my life, instead of my whole life. The awareness I was grasping through the books and the teacher easily became more engrossing than the financial distress. What I was discovering gave me a new way to understand what had happened. It gave me an opportunity to think about my life in a new way and to see new and very different possibilities.

Because I pursued this new knowledge with passion, I fell down Alice’s proverbial rabbit hole deeper and deeper and found more passion, knowledge and truth and called it food for my soul. I found so many new interests I felt good about. My new love became Tarot, the ancient method of divination, self analysis, spiritual growth and the soul’s journey. It was complex, deep, comprehensive, multi-layered and fascinated me endlessly. After 20 years it still does!

I cannot imagine any journey being more exciting. I was grateful that I’d had that fulfillment of having had lots of money and the things money could buy. Though I was never truly what I call wealthy, the billionaire type, I certainly lived a life that was free from want and full of luxury. I often meet people that say “Gee I wish I could …. Live in a big home; drive a luxury car; take a trip; etc, etc. Been there done that and it was grand! But the point is BEEN there. I don’t have to revisit it. I am fortunate and grateful to have experienced it. I neither fear nor crave such a reality again. It is a nice balanced place to be.

No matter how far you fall into failure, no one can remove your knowledge. It is your self worth you must repair; that and your passion. One will lead into the other.

My passion for Tarot led me to begin doing readings for others. It became the next part of my life, these 20 years. You can bankrupt the entrepreneur, but you can’t take away the entrepreneurial spirit. So my business, metaphysical and right brained, took on an entrepreneurial flair.

Failure was my springboard to a new life. Chaos and depression were experiences to acknowledge, embrace, and nurture consciousness. My whole next 20 years proceeded in unimagined ways from the foundation of total failure. Thank god I lost everything. Yes, it was painful and there are more benefits from having experienced that shift than I could ever have imagined as I was passing through it.

Because I moved into this strange world of peculiar knowings, intuitions and medical intuitives; I was diagnosed and healed of cancer all within one week. Had I never lost it all, the diagnosis would have come long after; the potential healing would have been a totally different path and who knows its outcome. I have often wondered if my properties, all in inner cities, would have survived the meth labs and lead paint and mildew problems that plague older, inner city property. I loved what I did, but certainly the stress had its impact.

My life is much simpler. My life style has changed little. My only real indulgence in the old days was dining out. I still love it but with all the fatty, starchy, fried restaurant foods, I actually prefer to cook at home using healthier ingredients. I am happy. The basic tenets of my first and most beloved teacher on this new path were “Drink Water. Choose Joy and Live in the Now”. It has become The Way for me.

I recommend failure highly. Use it well.

Boundary Dispute

THE SITUATION:
(After many years using a common gravel road access to their home, a neighbor has blocked it off.) In an email the client writes:
“Well we have NO rights.
They called the police, said I gave her the bird....I didn't, but basically we are in the wrong....we have NO rights.
The policeman was very nice, but had a copy of our NO rights...Basically our road stops at the house just before us.
Called title company, talk about B.S and no help.....basically we have no rights......and we can't pick and choose the way we want to get to our home. We talked with the manager; same story and so on and so on and so on.
I have diarrhea so bad, this is not going away....wish we had never bought this place.
I am so crying, and there’s no way out.....head hurts heart aches and I'm just plain beaten....We are talking to people on phone, but no one is saying we have rights.
The guy that told me I can't pick and choose a way to our home, also said the REALTOR should have had all this info...It just goes on and on and on...
I'm crying again, and I'm going to close....this is awful...just awful...”


In one way or another we have all experienced this kind gut wrenching fear. My reply seemed universally applicable so I include it here for you.

It's horrible feeling beaten.

The biggest thing to do now is to NOT do anything. It is very hard to give up the feeling of being victimized.

I know you want to do this all logically, and there truly are more avenues, but I recommend letting them go right now.

You are dealing with an irrational person.

Your goal here is to keep the standard access. Keep that in mind. Focus on seeing good access restored to normal. Focus. Visualize. Focus. The more you give free rein to negative thinking the more it increases. I know this is hard but you will get through it.

Every possible resolution already exists in your energetic field. Pick the one you truly want to have and give it all your energy, focus and visualization. Bring it out into the light and play with it, feeling, seeing, smelling and visualizing it. Breathe life into it. Make it as real as you can.

There is always a ‘way out’ of every situation. It may not be the one you thought of or wished for; it might even be better. The only way we can ever be disappointed is when we hold on to needing our own outcome. Surrender, let go, give it up to a higher power to create the best solution and then align with knowing in some way it really is the best.

August will prove to be one of the most challenging months... and you will live through it. Resistance will create more resistance, as you have seen with the lie about flipping the bird... just one more on top of his irrational behavior. Use the back way for now. It works for now. That is all you need to focus on. Stay focused on this now... this very minute. You are safe. You do have an alternative way to reach your home. You are all right NOW.

You are not alone. Right now there are boundary and border disputes going on all over; neighbor to neighbor, country to country. Your personal situation is a reflection of the irrationality of conflict, no matter how big or small the scale. Do not make this a war. It WILL be resolved but probably not until after the unsettling energies of this August.

Continue to do Ho’oponopono, pray and find anything to be loving about: your beautiful yard, you pets, your relationship, and your health... find anything to appreciate... it is the first law of shifting your perspective. Allow yourself: body, mind and spirit to breathe and you will find you have shifted just a tiny bit. Continue to pray, do Ho’oponopono and find things to appreciate. You will shift just a little bit more. Make that your focus: small steps. It will pay great dividends.

I have used these methods in dire circumstances. It's hard for you to just jump in here and believe it, but I know you believe in prayer and its power. Its purpose is to give you focus on love and gratitude... don't simply recite the problem. Use prayer to find peace and love. This is done by keeping a tight rein on your thoughts. Do not go where angels fear to tread! In other words, do not slush about, repeating the situation, dwelling on it, drowning in the problem. These things only give it energy, life and power. Pay attention to your thoughts. This is not denial; this is retraining your mind.

You are stronger than you realize. You have a fertile and powerful mind. Use it to create, allow, forgive, love, and peace. Be in gratitude. Let go of the war.
Miracles happen when you choose to give focus to these positives instead of focusing on negatives. They are still there, but you are refusing to empower and enlarge them. Use that powerful mind as God intended you to.

Now is always the time to do this.

Remember that the depth to which this is affecting you is the depth of love you are capable of. Tear off the labels of anger, hatred, and frustration. Recognize the raw power source that it is. Redirect it into healing, love, allowance, forgiveness and most of all into visualizing an amazing resolution.

You do not know how this will turn out... why wallow in thoughts of it's being bad. For all you know, the city could come in and build you a road! The universe and all the angels can figure this out and make an outcome much, much more amazing than you can even think of. Surrender it to them. You'll be in good hands.

Our problems really are universal. They say there are only seven plots in all the stories of the world. So I hope you can use this to put a happy ending on your story lines. We always have the choice of how we interpret and respond to every situation. Each of your choices creates of your reality. May you choose joy and love each time.

Cry For Happy

I just watched my umpteenth movie that makes me cry, but I figured out a little secret.

When you get to those amazing parts of movies and books that make you tear up or sob you have fallen in love with life. I am powerful in these moments; I feel it. So I seek them out now. I used to hide from any sentimental, tear jerker movies or books. I actually read them alone in the bath tub or anywhere else I would not be vulnerable to others’ judgments. Now I recognize their power and I don’t have to hide from it any longer. I can tap into it and use it to create joy.

When I am in those peak moments of feeling love, I seek out anything not loving in my world, personal or global and visualize it in the center of all that love. I surround it with love like a nurturing womb and the non-loving stuff simply disappears. I was doing this many times daily with the oil spill. That’s the big stuff. But I do it with a neighbor that has noisy pets or loud music. I do it with a pain in my ankle. I do it with anything my subconscious is drawn to.

It works like magic. Love conquers fear. We’ve all heard that phrase, but how does it actually work? Years ago I had a terrible scare that a loved one was going to be wrongly arrested. I used every technique I knew to overcome my fear. I read uplifting books; I meditated and I listened to spiritual music. It worked each time, but the fear returned. I spent an entire day moving from the low vibration of fear to higher vibrations but nothing lasted. Then I watched a late night movie. In the final scene the woman gives birth, the child is laid on her breast and she dies. Well, I lost it. Tears all over the place, the sobbing kind. I knew it was love and I put that giant fear into the middle of all that love. It simply dissolved. It was gone and I knew it was gone permanently. I knew the situation was totally done and we’d never be contacted with any other notice of outcome. It was a deep and abiding knowing.

So now I have discovered romance novels. I’d never read them until a month ago, but here I am, reading at least two a day, using the power that wells up. There are so many people reading these love stories and watching loving movies and having loving experiences of their own. Combined, we are very, very powerful. I tap into all those lights experiencing love and join with them directing my intention for this powerful, loving energy to heal the planet or take care of a conflict, personal, neighborhood or global.

So next time you Cry for Happy, tie into all those others who are feeling love and direct your intention to a healing of some kind. We are so powerful, so much more than we realize.

Go ahead. Cry for Happy.

Gulf Oil Response

Just as Mother Earth renews herself, we too are changing, renewing ourselves. Much that was repressed and forgotten, deeply buried within us is bubbling up. The oil from the depths that has the power to change a great deal is a metaphor for the great shifts within the human life form. We are changing to light beings that can handle 12 times more light than our original DNA could. To do this light will inevitably shine on our darkest aspects. Planetary hate, greed and abuse of people and power will come to the light, as we see daily happening. The oil spill, welling up from below, is its metaphor.

All is not lost. In fact, newness surrounds us; comes from deep within us.

Liken this to Mt St Helen's eruption. Scientists could 'prove' its devestation woul take aeons to recover. It took less than 2 yrs to begin; and 10 yrs it was astounding. Twenty five yrs later, we must be reminded it ever happened. Lives were lost, tho very few, but important to each one. The old man on the mountain, sitting in his lodge, represents the old way of hanging on no matter what the level of change being offered. He was resistance incarnate.

In this event too, there will be loss of life and other things of great value. The earth is birthing her own change….as are we.

You have a choice here to add to the sum of love on this planet or of fear. Love is simply letting go of fear. You cannot fear and love at the same time. Choose. We know our focus is an aspect of creation; so simply shift focus to what is loving. Know that our Mother Earth will heal. The animal life will recover. Things will change. Shift your focus to love. Love what is. Love what will be. Love the changes. Fear and judgment stop the flow and refuse to see any possibilities for positive outcome. We do not have to know what that outcome is. We have only to remain in loving trust that there is a greater story and that the larger picture is positive, for it is. Trust the process.

You have a choice before you. You can sit in the gut wrenching pain of fear; or you can take conscious control of your mind and find something to love and focus on that. Know that the Mother is having contractions prior to the birth. We are with her. As midwives to this miracle, we are attending the coming change. Nothing like it has ever happened in the universes. Humans are waking up, taking their own consciousness in hand and directing it into creation of the next step. Choose well. You are the co-creator of the next moment in this event.

Bless this birthing. Ho'oponopono prayer is easy and amazing.

Creator,
Please remove whatever it is within me that has created this experience.
I am truly sorry.
I ask forgiveness.
I thank you.
I love you.

Always you have choice in your reaction.
You are powerful, not powerless.
Your addition of love to this planet is powerful.

Believe it or not, this experience is so much better than what would have been happening had consciousness not gotten to this point!
Still it is difficult to watch death and dying. Still it is only the illusion of the temporary physicality of us. We are so much more.
All life is sentient, some more than others.
Our job is to love.
The heart expands to take all comers.
Let your heart open...

The answers to the problem are not to be found at the level of the problem. You can connect with the problem from the level of your open heart; Love. It heals.

It is your powerful choice.
Hold steady in your truth.
Know your love heals.

Choosing Joy in the Midst of Crisis

Choosing Joy in the Midst of Crisis

A Different Way
No matter what happens, there is a different way to see things. You can broaden your perspectives. If you first understand how you create your own reality, you will be much more powerful in creating the experiences you prefer. No one "does it to you"….. you are creating "it" by what you choose to focus on, mentally and emotionally. In truth, everything is done for you as a reflection of your personal growth. You can tell what's happening within you, your emotional thermometer, by what's happening in your world.

How You Create Your Reality
Thought and feelings combined make your world of experience. What you focus on and what you feel are a powerful alchemical mix that is out-pictured as your reality. Emotions deep in your subconscious are the operating system of your life. Your thoughts and emotions give form to all that occurs in your world.

Triggers
Everything is a trigger to your potential emotions. Your interpretation of those triggers, based on your emotional operating system, determine your perspective. If you feel injured, you are. If you don’t feel injured, you aren’t. If you love a flower, it triggers a feeling of beauty and appreciation. If you determine that same flower to be a weed, other emotions are triggered. Same triggers, different interpretations.

Acknowledgement
Let me acknowledge those reading this who have had crises in their lives: rape, wrongful imprisonment, abandonment, abuse, floods, famine, earthquake, fire, disastrous health or lost a loved one, be it a mate, a sibling or a child.

My crisis was merely financial. It gives you a perspective, doesn't it?

Crisis Defined
When we are children, great drama is a skinned knee, being picked last for the team or not making the team at all. As we grow up, our dramas become larger and larger, yet within us is still the small child who skinned a knee. Crisis isn't defined by the externally applied test of severity, but by the internal gauge of our own emotions.

Losing the football game because you fumbled the ball on the tie breaking last three seconds of the game may be equally as devastating as if you had made a bad business decision that resulted in losing your job. We categorize levels of trauma; but to the emotional self, it's all pretty much the same: a massive blow to self worth, lovability, connectedness, abundance or control.

My Story
I had been a real estate investor. The Feds changed the law so I was unable to get loans and I needed many. Then I heard "In any moment we can choose joy. It is always a choice." I was being served with hundreds of lawsuits. I chose to be happy as the postman delivered a container full of more foreclosure notices. Instead of my embarrassment, I focused on him as he began telling me of his anniversary surprise for his wife. He was so happy I became happy. I was amazed. Choosing joy worked, for real.

How It All Shifted
When I stopped asking "Why me?" and began asking "Why did I create all this?" I began to heal. This led me to many discoveries about how to choose and what choices were available. I read hundreds of books, studied thousands of hours and sought out extraordinary masters, only to be redirected to myself as the source of all that was occurring in my life. I learned how I was that source, how I was creating what was in my world and finally how and why I had collapsed my financial world so completely. These answers didn't come all at once. It was the journey that made the difference. All the reading and all the teachers didn't give me answers so much as they gave me pointers so I could rediscover those answers for myself.

Ten Pointers: The Secrets I Learned to Choosing Joy
1. MAKE A JOY LIST. This gives you scheduled time to focus on joy. This is so incredibly simple that most of you reading this will think it’s too silly to do. But it is one of those life-changing things that is incredibly effective.
2. BEGIN APPRECIATING ANYTHING. This little thread will become a lifeline to joy. When you decide you’ve had enough of an undesirable feeling, you can begin to shift immediately by changing your focus to appreciating anything. Appreciate one thing, anything, then more things, until you all you feel is the vibration of appreciation.
3. LOVE A THING ‘TO DEATH’. When you are hurting and finally decide you’ve had enough you can love the pain to death. Once you make the determination to be done with the pain you can use any method possible to shift your awareness into one of love. It may be music, poetry, spiritual books, walking in nature meditation, or journaling. By shifting your focus, you allow yourself to move into an altered state, altered from the downward spiral you were in. You literally step into a clear space in which you choose your next feeling.
4. GIVE AWAY WHAT YOU NEED. When you’re hurting and in pain find someone else to whom you can give what you need. When we give away what we need, physically or emotionally, we have recognized at a deep internal level that we already have it within ourselves, or we wouldn’t be able to give it away. Eg. Give away loneliness by sitting with a stranger in a park or coffee shop.
5. SHIFT YOUR FOCUS. Whatever you focus on you get more of. This is the Law of Attraction. Attract what you’d prefer. Focus on joy, love, health or abundance!
6. CREATE A WELLNESS PLAN. Plan for your health on all four levels of your being: Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual.
7. CREATE A PERFECT DAY. Choose a day that becomes Christmas like in its expectation of joy and perfection. My day is April 21st.. every year!
8. REMOVE THE LABEL. Whatever you call the energy: anger, guilt, fear or something else, tear off the label you have given it. Beneath it is pure raw energy. Use it to feel good, heal yourself or get energized.
9. BECOME A SCREEN TO EMOTION. Allow them to pass through you. When you feel a wave of emotion coming toward you, choose not to clamp down and hold your breath but become pliant, like a tree in the wind. Open to the experience and imagine your whole self becoming like a screen door. Let the emotions sweep through you without attaching to them and without getting stuck in them.
10. CHOOSE JOY. It is always available as an option. Choose it by first remembering times of joy in your life. Then become it. Feel it. Be it. Exult in the feeling.

These secrets are expanded in greater detail in my book “Choosing Joy in the Midst of Crisis” available through my website.

Get straight Talk, Tea and Insight with Dolly Mae. Visit www.dollymae.com for scheduled events and other articles. Email dolly@dollymae.com or call toll free 877.246.9569.