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Monday, November 22, 2010

Passionate Anger

The following is an email exchange when ‘Kate’ responded to a recent article I wrote describing my personal financial failure. I have changed the name and certain small details for obvious reasons. All emails took place the same day. More is revealed as you keep reading. Spelling and punctuation are retained in tact. I was already having a horrible email morning when this arrived in my inbox.

Sent: 10:03 AM

Subject: Remove me from your god damn list

TAKE YOUR "$25 million loss" AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR A$$!!! I've never even had $10,000 at one time. I was born with nothing and never was even granted inheritance when family members with money died (every one in my family are selfish shitslaves) so why the fuack should I give ANYTHING to you aside from grief? Go float off a metaphysical pier!

Kate

10:43 AM same day

Dear Kate,

Thank you thank you for your wonderful email! In a nightmare morning your email got me over the top laughing hysterically till I coughed and sputtered! You probably hope I choked, but I rallied and am fine.

I have nothing to defend or prove. In the midst of my crazy destruction after 17 yrs of working 18 hour days, I found how to be truly happy no matter what is going on. You have essentially reminded me of that in my face! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My server had a problem this morning and 1400 emails have gone very haywire, multiplied over and over. No matter, it is just a part of the experience of living.

I truly do thank you and wish you well.

In grace and gratitude.

Dolly Mae

Sent: 1:47 PM same day

Subject: Re: Remove me from your god damn list

LOL.... Thank you for handling my scorpio (sting*sting*sting*sting) flair up with so much grace! You're obviously highly motivated and have a great spirit so for that I commend you. Life is just way frustrating for me right now. Thank you for handling me better than I think any one probably has in a very long time. Bless you. I'm sorry I was such a jerk. So cool you travel so much. Hopefully if I pick up my attitude and work with more sincerity I can do the same too some day. After all amid my financial adversity (I really am in a state of near-poverty and would be totally homeless if it wasn't for my boyfriend) I do work as a razzafraggin' clown.

Kate

Kate, I have blessed you all day,... I am truly delighted to hear back from you. All that passion!!! Verve!!! You must love life to express that way! Truly I was not offended as much as you popped my frustration bubble!

My server got stung and my 1400 clients got zapped with hundreds and hundreds of spam emails. I've been fielding calls and emails all morning.. But yours will always stand out and my most beloved! I saved it in my file called "Letters of Appreciation"... truly.

I do understand all that fear you are going through. I remember walking through a grocery store parking lot with my husband and being struck by the awareness we had no money for food and could starve. He stood facing me, grabbed my shoulders and said "We will always have enough money for food." He got thru/past my fears. Fear doesn't relate to how many zeros are on the sum of your loss: $25 or $25 thousand. Same fear.

You will get past this. See/feel/know.. but mostly FEEL what it's like to be safe, then feel abundant. It is the power in the feeling that will shift your world the most. Because right now you are feeling fear and it is creating more fear.

I truly honor your journey. Mine included real suicidal planning. My world is very different now. Yours will be too. Choose, choose, choose joy over and over. Start with feeling grateful for something, anything. Then something else, and then more. Your emails say you are strong, vibrant and full of life. You have someone who is there... you have already manifested well. Keep building on it.

Blessings and love to you on your journey.

In Grace and Gratitude,

Dolly

Ps.

I forgot to tell you, I'm a Scorpio too!!!

love and light,

d

fr Kate 2:28 pm

*crying right now* Thank you :)

You are soooo sweet! It's all these energies right now.

p.s. so do you want to stay on my email list now????

Laughter and tears... aren't they just the best!

Love and light,

Dolly

ps. I'm crying too... because our connection reminds me we are all one.

Thank YOU!

Awww!! Sure, I'll stay on your list.. I was going to say that I will anyway. :)

Shanti,

Kate

Isn’t this the way it’s supposed to be???

Most assuredly, it is.