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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Gate


This is a story about one of my little vasanas. Vasanas are reactive habit patterns that lie in our subconscious and show up in our face to jog our awareness that it’s time to shift. It is easiest to do by just observing and loving that vasana.

My intention in my meditation was to open a gate in a fenced garden and go inside to greet healing energies: delightful flowers, fairies and earth divas. I envisioned a lovely fence with a gate and I flatly resisted opening it. I was shocked. I acquired a rash on a recent trip. I really wanted it healed, so why was I resisting. I realized I had that same fence around me, energetically; the one that says I can do it myself. I don’t need help. I am protecting myself doing so and I was disappointed in me. I thought I’d gotten rid of that energetic fence. I like me better when I’m not in that defensive mode. I wanted to go through the gate but I couldn’t open it. I’d run headlong into an old vasana.

I was aware of my hesitancy to open even my own front door at home if I don’t know who is there. Actually, I never do. I speak to them through the door asking “Who is it?” and then once I know who’s there, I either say “Thanks but I’m not interested.” or open the door and happily welcome someone in. I know it’s all about fear or control or the lack of control.

Then I wondered how it would have to look in my imagination for me to open that gate. I realized that when I open a front door, it always opens inward and I am required to step back. I am forced to step back! This single step causes me to lose my sense of being in charge by virtue of my ‘retreat’. 

I tried envisioning different fences and gates that I could see thru, but it was the sense of having built a fence around myself for protection that was surprising to me. I realized it wasn’t a see through fence that I needed to imagine to allay my fears. It was simply my need to control my environment and I might not be in control because I just didn’t know what was on the other side of the gate.

I decided to try opening the gate in different ways to create a comfort level for myself. Remember all this is inside a meditation. I first created a door that opened outward. That would force the guest to step back and be ‘disempowered’ in their retreat. That felt satisfying. (good grief, I felt petty in this ridiculous little superiority!)

Then I thought How can I achieve balance, that point between, a compromise so both parties felt good? So I looked at how the door could be opened to accommodate those on both sides of the door and if it would be easier to open (and lose or release my need for safety).   So I thought of those smaller louvered doors that were two half width doors, as in old French and European movies. You know, the kind you grab the knobs with both hands and fling open. Instead of flinging them out or pulling them in, I envisioned one of these half doors opening outward and one inward; hence inconveniencing both parties in that both had to step back. Well that didn’t seem gracious either.

So I envisioned a pocket door that slid into the side wall. That way no one was forced to step back. It felt better but I didn’t like the idea of a pocket door in my fence.

Then I realized this was all about my fears, ones I didn’t know I had and which were very simply presented.  Here I was wanting a healing and I was stuck in a fenced-in place of my own making and arguing with my self induced fears about entering the place of healing!
I know you want a resolution to all this; to hear the happy ending, but there is none, yet. I came out of the meditation knowing I had to write about this because I’m not the only one dealing with this. So my gift to you is this experience. If you relate to it, write your own ending. Have your own awareness and be amazed by it. We are Creators. I know the ending I want and I shall go back into my sacred space, meditation or daydream place and rewrite a new ending. I shall intend to fling open the doors without fear, walk in joyfully and greet my healing energies.

By surrounding yourself with the highest possible vibration before doing this, you will definitely succeed. Be Love. That’s all. Bring up the memories of loving experiences and flood yourself with it. Then open that gate and enter that healing garden and your love will be reflected back to you. No hesitation will occur before opening the gate. Your intention to rise above your third dimensional fears using Love as the key will unlock the gates in the walls of your mind. On many levels you will be healed.

Ok. Happy ending.  I went back and opened the gate. Very cool. Vasana satisfied.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Energy Labels


 
Recently I had an experience in the midst of a lecture. An audience member became disruptive. Instead of yelling, heckling or outright obnoxious behavior, this was much more subtle.  The person was playing energy games and directing them towards me. When I finally figured out what was happening, I had to decide where it was coming from. Having done that, I zeroed in on the person responsible. Now I had a choice of how to react. I simply stopped for a moment in the middle of the lecture. I chose to be unconditional love. I made eye contact and smiled at the person in full recognition of their conduct and sent them total love. The games stopped. The lecture continued.  It only took a few moments.

The real choices we have in life are how we choose to respond to our environment.  We can choose to react in anger, resentment, embarrassment, love or joy to name a few. These words are just labels on bundles of energy. Any emotion you can think of is just another label. We blame others for making us feel one way or another, but we are the ones in charge of choosing our reactions. They are just triggers. The triggers they send are just raw energy.

There is always a choice of how to respond. I will always choose joy and love. To be happy we must become conscious and make an intentful decision for Joy by choosing the path of Light. We become conscious by paying attention to our emotions and thoughts. When we pay attention we can recognize the energy and give it a name. Giving it a name lets us stand a little separate from it so we can take a moment to become conscious and ask ourselves how we wish to react. When we decide how to react we take the standard bundle of raw reaction energy and re-label it.  Tearing off that label and giving it a new name and direction is one way of being able to make a healthy response choice more easily. 

Tear the Label Off the Energy
People teach about protection from psychic attack. Psychic attack requires a sender and a receiver.  If you are the receiver of such energy, simply tear the label off it.  Stop calling it ‘attack’.  It is just raw energy.  Energy cannot be destroyed, simply changed.  Best of all, it can be changed just by your intention!  Use the energy and change it to Love.  Put your new label on it. Surround yourself and the sender with that Love. That is the truest ‘defense’. Be love, send it, feel it, acknowledge it, allow it and reflect it. 

If you send hate, anger or revenge back, you will indeed get more of same. You have engaged (received) the fear and forgotten to change the label on the raw energy.  If you believe that lighting candles, or doing a ritual, or blessing oneself works, then to the extent you play in that defense arena, you are already attacked.  Simply surround yourself with love and BE it, send it, feel it. Love is the true nature of the Self.

A wonderful lesson in A Course in Miracles  says "Your attack thoughts attack your invulnerability."  Very wise indeed.  We are truly invulnerable.  It is our fears that undermine us. They attach to that raw energy labeled attack.   Our deep internalized fears rise up to invalidate our natural state of love.  We can recognize our fears and love them. Re-label the energy to Love. It’s just like electricity, not good, not bad, but it’s how we apply that energy that helps or hurts.

No doubt there can be perceived attacks. It is up to us to decide to tear the label off and use the energy to help not hurt. We have the power to transmute such energy simply by intention. Engage love and overcome fear.  Joy is always an option. So is Love. Try choosing them.


Dolly Mae is a Spiritual Consultant, Author and Speaker residing in the Seattle area. She is available for consultations at dolly@dollymae.com  Visit her website www.dollymae.com