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Monday, March 1, 2010

Healing Little Wars

Lately I have noticed so many little eruptions of ‘war’ between people. I see flare ups with people defending a position, lines drawn in the sand. I was caught up in a couple of my own. Each triggered an incendiary reaction in me: fireworks anger!

The Rude Response
The first example was an unloving and unsolicited rude comment. It reminded me of the abuser saying “I’m only hitting you because I love you.” I immediately removed the person from my contacts, energetically killing them. I was at war. Then I wrote my scathing response and sent it to someone else, a good friend who would let me ‘throw up’ on her and still laugh and allow my anger.

What I Needed
All the while I knew I needed to get back to Love. I had to somehow convert these feeling of anger, resentment and betrayal to love. I know all the tricks but I was caught up in the feelings… stuck and reveling in them. I was sick. I needed help.

The Story Line
When you tell an ugly story more than three times, that story owns you. I did not want to let it become like a bad cold and take root in me. I needed to get rid of this sniffle right away. So first, I threw up by writing my unloving response and dumping all my anger in a healthy way. I got it out of my system. I didn’t stuff it and let it fester. And I sent it… but to a friend. I called my true blue friend the next day. Instead of “Hello” she said “Send the letter to that bastard! He deserves it!” You gotta love such unconditionally supportive friends. We laughed big time.

Already Cured
You see, by then I was cured! And within twenty four hours! It was fascinating to watch myself as to whom I selected to tell this outrage. I was afraid there was some truth in it and I wanted only support. Aren’t we sneaky? I had called another friend in England with my story. My wonderful Brit friend never thinks she knows enough or counsels well, but she has taught me so much through just being her authentic emotional self. She quoted an old teacher “I love you unconditionally, but I may not always trust you.” Well, that did it. I realized that was my how to regain a loving state.

Loving Doesn’t Mean Being Stupid
I could be totally loving but aware that I was unable to trust this person. I didn’t have to lie in the middle of the road and get run over by any more rude comments. It didn’t even matter if the comments were true. This was how to love again. I could breathe again. It was all about my reactions. It was about what I chose that told more about me to myself than anything else would have. I was proud of me. That ugly, icky feeling was gone.

The Bank Error
In the second situation, my bank charged me incorrectly. No one there would take responsibility. I dug in and began my calling campaign to resolve it. I was at war. Bad me. I needed help fast. I had to shift back to love. But how? Ok, I know the secrets, the ways and the methods. This time, after my third upsetting phone call, I did Ho’oponopono on the situation and let go. I let it do its magic.

When I say I did Ho’oponopono, I mean I simply said the little prayer that reminds us we are all One and whatever is happening is because it is an aspect of us that we have chosen to be reminded about and to heal now. It goes like this.
“Creator (that’s YOU, since all is One and nothing is outside of the greater You.)
Please remove whatever it is within me that has created this situation.
I am truly sorry.
I ask forgiveness.
I thank you. (You again)
I love you.” (You again)

Shortly, I received a phone call from the bank manager totally resolving the situation. I have seen amazing things with Ho’oponopono. It is applied to the situation, not the person. It is about Oneness and healing the self, which once healed is reflected in all those around you.

My sister managed apartments. One resident became verbally abusive about a parking situation. She immediately did Ho’oponopono on the situation. She was smart enough not to even bother with getting angry. Within an hour the man came in apologizing profusely.

War begins with you. The big wars in our world can be alleviated little by little because you heal a situation with your neighbor, business associate or friend. Start small. It’s really huge work you will be doing. Healing your self, healing the planet, it’s all the same.

You are the key.