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Friday, April 2, 2010

To Tell or Not To Tell

As a psychic, I am often asked what I do with information I get about the potential for trouble for someone else. Do I have to inform the person they may be facing a difficulty shortly?
I do not, for several reasons.

Sacred Individuality
To understand this seeming lack of caring, please understand I believe each of us is a master. This is sacred and inviolable; a prime directive. Each of us is the creator of our own individual realities. If someone is on a path of self destruction, that is their right. And it is only a potential. Everything can change. No one knows better how to live a life than the individual soul. You would not want someone, even well intentioned, to interfere with your life choices. We love our parents but at some point we want them to stop giving us advice. We want to blaze our own trail. Our individuality is sacred, guided by our own soul’s plan as we created it while still in spirit form. A person may have to hit bottom before awakening. If we keep giving them parachutes, they may not reach their turning point.

Disempowerment
To interfere with another’s life is to disempower them. It says “You are living wrong and I know how to run your life better than you do.” I may see important things about someone. So do you. But unless and until they ask you for help, clarification or input, they are not ready to hear it. Good intentions often translate as rescue. And rescuers need victims. They need them to validate their identity as rescuers. Although it makes the rescuer feel good, it reinforces victim mentality in others. It is not your responsibility or your right to change others.

The gift
I know you are thinking what about those who can’t help themselves. There is a healthy and an unhealthy way to assist. Mother Theresa’s gift was to see others as whole, not as victims. In placing herself in the heart of such neediness, she was a light for those in the dark. Light does not judge. It doesn’t intend to save others. Light does not inflict. It is simply available, impartial, and present. Let this be our guide.

Seeing Mastery in Others
To see even those lying in the gutter face down as magnificent masters is to empower them. Consciousness is a living thing, communicated even without action. They know how you feel about them. Helping someone who stumbles is a natural act born of the understanding we are all One and s/he who stumbles is in truth You. But to prolong the queries of “are you alright now” while sending unspoken communication of “you poor thing” is disempowering. Authentic help is love and needs no reward or acknowledgement. It is impartial, available and present.

Motivation
Pay attention to your motivations as you see others. For example, take the street beggar. Do you avoid them with a “get a job” thinking? Do you see a victim? Do you give them money fearing it could be you or resentfully, haughtily, impersonally? Can you look them in the eye as an equal and be loving with composure and calmness? Your motivations are as important as their circumstances. Their beingness is a gift to you to for self awareness. Through their simple act of being in their situation, they have volunteered, on a higher level, to be a nudge to your consciousness to look at the Oneness of all things in a compassionate and even handed way. These angels of the streets have chosen to be a gift to you. When you come across such an angel, go within to determine your own impulses to give or not give.

Judgment
However you act, there is no judgment but what you place on yourself. No one else knows your internal thinking and feeling process. Great compassion may simply beam love to them, or connect with a word, a touch. Kindness can mean more than money. If that street angel is playing the role of a victim, that is their concern. You do not have to reinforce it by responding as a rescuer. Be even. Be aware. Be conscious. It is such a little thing, but huge in impact.

Crossroads
I have always figured that if God/Goddess does not swoop in to rescue someone, neither should I. Acknowledging each as creator seems to honor the Creator in each of us. If you really want to know something you will ask. First, go within and ask yourself. If you do not receive clarity, there are other choices. Let go of the need to know. Learn how to find clarity. Ask someone. When we are at a crossroads, it is good to open windows and get a fresh perspective.

Compassion
Wordlessly compassion speaks “I feel your pain. I honor your journey. I see you as Creator, a Master. Blessings on your path.” Our job is to love. Love people as they already are, not as they could be, should be or might be. Love yourself first. Fill your own cup of self, a drop at a time until you overflow. Such freely expressed love blesses everyone and everything.

Refrain and Validate
It is a hard thing to refrain from giving advice when not asked. We do it all the time in conversations with friends. Listen to yourself. When a friend tells you of their pain, be compassionate, loving, validating. Acknowledge their feelings. Save your advice for only when you are asked. I often compare this to a child throwing up. You pet their head, make loving comments, touch their back, validate, coo, love. You do not start giving advice. They are in the process of disgorging something painful. Allow their process. Hold your well intentioned advice until they ask for it. It’s tricky, but you will both be better (more empowered) for the experience.

Divine Timing
If someone is facing a potential crisis, I believe their consciousness aligns with Divine Timing and they will either avoid the experience or embrace it depending on their highest and best path. It would be presumptuous of me to interfere with their creation.

In summary, open yourself to knowing and feeling. Seek to understand your own motivations. See others as perfect creators no matter what their situation. See yourself that way too. You don’t have to share what you know or be validated for it. In your own life ask for input when you are ready. Allow others to do the same. To tell or not to tell; it’s up to you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi DollyMae,

I had the pleasure of spending half an hour with you at the Calgary fair this past weekend and I just wanted to say 'thank you'. It was a fun, enlightening reading and I am thoroughly enjoying reading your book. I am absolutely Choosing Joy and so, too, is my husband! You have already made a positive impact on our lives and I believe a lasting one. What a wonderful gift that is. Thank you.

Cheers!

Leslie M (and Carl)